


Forgot to Mention One Little Thing

by diemarysues



Series: Paws Pitter-Pattering [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Animals, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 02:32:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diemarysues/pseuds/diemarysues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since when do hamsters and cats celebrate Christmas? Since now, says Bilbo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgot to Mention One Little Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alkjira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Purring Cat, Hidden Hamster](https://archiveofourown.org/works/983833) by [alkjira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira). 



> will I stop writing Christmassy fic and titling them with lyrics? nope.

Thorin rocked onto his back feet, stretching luxuriously. He yawned widely, exposing well cared-for fangs, and then settled into sitting position. Before he started washing himself, though, he turned to his hamster companion. “Our humans are being more high-strung than usual.”

 

“That’s because Christmas is coming,” Bilbo replied pragmatically, and Thorin blinked, pausing in the motion of cleaning his left hind leg. “They’re always more… frantic around this time.”

 

“It is silly.” From what Thorin had observed over the years, Ori would become increasingly stressed as winter went on – and as the apartment acquired a dead plant and tiny lights and shiny decorations. One memorable year had had Thorin tagging along to Ori’s brother’s home; at least he’d been free to hunt birds in the backyard of Dori’s cottage.

 

“It can be fun.” Bilbo gave the hamster equivalent of a shrug. “They seem happy on the day itself.”

 

“Sometimes.” On the same year as his bird-hunting, Thorin had been present to watch no less than three squalling human-cubs. A noisy experience, as well as a very wet one – not that Thorin had ventured close.

 

“The children have been asking about it, actually.” There was a careful tone to Bilbo’s voice that made Thorin wary.

 

He narrowed his eyes at Bilbo (and in so doing noticed a tuft of fur that he definitely would have to see to later). “It is a human celebration.”

 

“I am aware of that, darling.” Dewy eyes blinked up at him. “But they do like the idea of getting each other gifts, and spending the day together.”

 

Thorin slid onto his belly. “We often do the latter. You especially, since you rarely leave the apartment.” Not on purpose, at any rate. Thorin flexed his claws as he thought about a certain furless mongrel. “I do not see how any of us can procure ‘gifts’.”

 

“That’s the fun of it, though.” Bilbo put his tiny paws over Thorin’s (and so he quickly retracted his claws). “We can use our imaginations.”

 

“If you have already decided, then what use is there asking my opinion?”

 

Bilbo’s whiskers drooped a little. “I am always receptive of your opinion. And if you truly opposed this idea, I would set it aside.”

 

Thorin purred at this, rubbing the side of his face affectionately against Bilbo’s. “And I would do the same.” He pressed their noses together. “And, yes. If the children wish it, we shall celebrate Christmas, same as Ori and Kíli.”

 

And seeing as that simple announcement made Bilbo happier than Thorin had seen in awhile, well… surely celebrating would be no hardship.

 

* * *

 

The fact that Kíli had a habit of talking to whatever being was nearest – whether it was a human or an animal – was not a new observation. Thorin had had it happen to him for so many times that he was already bored with it, although Ori’s dark-haired mate sometimes did surprise him when somehow understanding exactly what Thorin meant, despite humans being unable to speak a proper language.

 

Ori was not in (Thorin thought he was at work), which meant there was no one to tell Kíli that his singing was absolutely atrocious – especially when he’d been hanging garlands of green and decorating them. Now the human was stood atop a stool, tying some sort of plant to the top of the kitchen doorway.

 

“This is mistletoe,” Kíli explained, glancing at Thorin. “And I’m hanging it up here so that none of you will eat it.”

 

Thorin snorted. Yes. _He_ was going to eat leaves.

 

“I’m serious. You see these?” He pointed at the pale berries held within the sprig. “These are poisonous. It’d probably kill one of your little ones, so make sure to be careful.”

 

Thorin narrowed his eyes to blue slits, tail lashing. What was the point of keeping a poisonous plant around, even if it was hung beyond the reach of even Merry and Pippin? (Though, knowing their luck, they _would_ probably find a way up there.)

 

“Thing is, us people have a tradition: if you happen to be under the mistletoe with another person, you’re supposed to kiss.”

 

Ah, yes, Thorin was familiar with kisses (considering Ori and Kíli indulged quite often). It looked mildly interesting and mostly disgusting. He wondered why they would need a reason to take part in such an activity.

 

Kíli seemed to understand the expression directed at him, and sighed as he clambered down from his perch. “It seems silly, but it’s fun. Or it can be. Wouldn’t want to be stood there with your uncle or summat.”

 

Humans were _odd_.

 

As he passed with the stool tucked under his arm, Kíli reached out to scratch Thorin under the chin. (This was only allowed because there’d been an _itch_ that’d been bugging him for hours…)

 

“Anyway, no real worries. We’re going over to Mum’s on Christmas, so you guys’ll have the apartment to yourselves for the night.”

 

Thorin opened one eye. That sounded promising.

 

Disappointingly, Kíli chose that moment to retract his hand (and Thorin was still semi-satisfied from having his itch alleviated that clawing that hand was too late an option). He wandered further into their home, muttering under his breath about ‘dodging a bullet’ and not having to deal with Ori’s ‘protective brothers’.

 

This was no concern of Thorin’s. Right now, there was a sparkly bauble that had his name on it.

 

* * *

 

Really, Thorin grumped. It wasn’t his fault the ornament had been so lovely and clear and sparkling. How was he to know that the garland had been held on so feebly – and how was he to know that struggling only got him even more tangled than he’d been previously?

 

At least Bilbo felt sorry enough for him that he’d suggested therapeutic couch cuddling. Even if he had laughed first.

 

* * *

 

Ori and Kíli had left for their party some time ago.

 

Outside the window, flurries of white floated past. ‘Snow’. Thorin rather disliked walking in it, as it was cold and wet, but it was perfectly alright to sit on this side of the glass and watch it fall to the ground. It was rather relaxing.

 

“Dad, how come there are patterns?” asked Little Kíli. He seemed to be referring to the silvery outlines that looked like feathers. (Thorin was again reminded of that wonderful/horrible Christmas.)

 

“It’s because of the cold.” That seemed a reasonable enough explanation. After all, Thorin had only seen such things when the temperature was horribly low, so…

 

Durin pressed the tip of his nose to the window. “I wish I could make something like that,” he said forlornly, and sneezed violently enough that he ended up sprawled on the tabletop.

 

Thorin purred and nuzzled both his sons. “Perhaps you will, some day.”

 

“Some day?” Kíli asked, looking up with his brown eyes. He seemed to be taken by his brother’s idea. “Why not today?”

 

Hmm. “Because you are young yet. You will grow, and so will your skills.” And Bilbo and he would be there every step of the way. “It will just take some time.”

 

The day had been a good one. Ori and Kíli had seemed glowingly happy, and had spruced up Thorin’s usual salmon with some sort of crunchy coating that had been surprisingly delicious. The children had collected shiny bits and bobs especially for him, and he had promised them a visit to the outside – a chaperoned visit, lasting the barest minimum amount of time –, which had excited them. To Bilbo he’d presented a tiny hat – a replica to the one Kíli had worn all day, shaped like a cone and topped with a bit off fuzz. (He’d stolen it off one of the decorations shaped like a tiny human with pointy ears.)

 

There was actually another present Thorin had in store for his hamster, which included the use of Kíli’s mistletoe, but that would have to wait for more private time…

 

“Thorin?” Ah, there was Bilbo now. “I think it’s time for bed.”

 

Of course the children complained. It was a little difficult to put down their plaintive protests, as well as their wide eyes, but as Bilbo argued calmly, they’d been allowed up far longer than was usual. Thorin made sure to embrace all of them once they’d bowed to their Daddy’s request, whispering that he loved them when they wished him goodnight.

 

That left Thorin with Bilbo and a quiet apartment (that was still empty of humans). They went to their usual place on the couch, and considered the tree Ori had decorated. The lights lazily winked on and off, casting shadows on the floor and wall. It was remarkably calming, and Thorin purred softly.

 

“Today wasn’t too bad, was it?”

 

“It was wonderful,” Thorin said truthfully, and warmed when Bilbo burrowed closer to his side. “I’m glad we celebrated it.”

 

Though planning an outing with all five of his children would be a headache, make no mistake. The prospect was painful to even think about, and so Thorin quickly asked, “Did you enjoy it?”

 

“I did, very much. Thank you for your present.” It was still atop Bilbo’s head, flopping to the side, and made him look hopelessly adorable. Or maybe that was just Thorin. They’d have to wait for Ori’ and Kíli’ to return.

 

“As for my present to you…” Bilbo’s eyes twinkled. “Remember how you mentioned wanting more children?”

**Author's Note:**

> yes I did the thing /runs away cackling/


End file.
